BREAKING, EXCLUSIVE: South Asia and Australasia.
Part of the Earth was hit by a passing asteroid, crushed, pulverised and flung into space earlier today, we can exclusively reveal.
The event was tracked and photographed in real time by NASA satellites, which had unfortunately failed to spot the collision until the last minute.
The affected region is believed to have been totally annihilated. Images from the International Space Station confirm that Australia and Indonesia have disappeared, along with a major portion of the South American continent.
News outlets, including the BBC and Channel 4 News have not featured the news in bulletins yet, however … considering the news to be of secondary importance to the whereabouts and condition of the Duchess of Cambridge and the eagerly awaited but overdue Royal Baby.
A BBC news editor confirmed that the corporation were aware of the collision and claimed that an article had been published in the South Asian section of the BBC News web site.
“We haven’t had any hits from that region”, he explained, “so we were concluding that the story was not even of local importance compared with the global event that a new heir to the British throne represents.”
Channel Four confirmed much the same view.
“It’s the other side of the world. Australia for God’s sake. Who’s going to be interested in that?”
There continues meanwhile to be no news on the expected arrival of the Royal Baby.
News teams continue to analyse the importance which the birth will have, especially when there is any information on what Kate plans to wear for the trip to the hospital and return home.