Leaders of a shadowy Transgender Cabal have been spotted recently, viewing potential office space to accommodate their unstoppable growth.
The leaders of this secretive but very powerful group, which constantly plots new and increasingly devious means to attack law-abiding people, are believed to have access to immense wealth, and to hold considerable power.
Their rise is a threat to the peaceful and law-abiding journalists, social commentators, clinicians, neighbourhood youths, publicans and taxi drivers whom they target.
The transgender lobby has occupied the top six floors of the Canary Wharf tower in East London until now.
From there, crack teams of ‘activists’ have trawled the Internet with sophisticated search tools, looking for any hint of a word out of place, which they could take monstrous offence to.
Field squads are also controlled from this point. The job of these operatives is to walk down streets, use buses and generally inhabit public spaces where they can cause annoyance by getting in other peoples’ line of sight.
Specialist operatives target doctors’ surgeries and ask for outrageous privileges, such as consultations and ‘treatment’.
Nobody knows who is behind this powerful cabal and few newspapers have yet managed to put a name to the leaders.
Little is known of their ideology, except that their mission appears to be to want to occupy the spaces that people use.
The motivations for their hate campaigns are equally difficult to figure. Nobody has been able to determine why the cabal recently decided to target a gentle and peace loving feminist writer … to the extent of driving the poor woman from the online sphere where she was simply minding her own business.
The transgender lobby is thought to favour large and frankly oppressive buildings for headquarters. The squat enormity of the Canary Wharf tower can be viewed as a metaphor for the transgenders’ world view. Big and in your face is the clear message.
Commercial property agents we have spoken to (but which beg not to be named) have confirmed to our researchers that top ranking officials in the transgender lobby … the ‘genderals’ as they are known … have viewed space in both the Gherkin and the Shard.
The Shard is thought to be a particularly likely choice, owing to the phallocentric imagery which it holds, although it is believed that floors may need to be strengthened to bear the weight of the lobby’s PhD library.
The success of the Transgender Lobby is of particular concern, as it appears so far unstoppable.
The insidious nature of the lobby was first felt when it forced workers to share factories and offices with transsexuals.
Not content with this outrage, the lobby ploughed on and imposed itself on our beloved NHS, insisting that ‘trans people’ should have rights to have bits lopped off or sewn on just because of their whim.
Next the lobby set the evil European machinery of state on a defenceless British Government.
And, as we’ve seen recently with high profile media ‘hits’, no dissent is tolerated.
This story will be continued when we have investigated why our editor, Dave, has returned from lunch wearing a twin set and pearls.